Intensity...

I'm sick of missing Pilates so when an opportunity popped up to swap shifts at Target, I opted to ditch my Thursday night shift in favor of a Friday night shift. I just sit at home and make awful decisions on Friday night anyways, so why not make a conscious decision to better myself? That seems smart.

So Thursday finally hits and I'm feeling really tired. This is what happens to me now that I work until 12:30am, fall asleep around 2:00am and have to be up at 6:45am (which inevitably ends up being more like 7:20). The problem is I really am enjoying working at Target and the extra money is incredibly helpful. The season is over soon, and hopefully they'll keep me on after the technical "Seasonal Employment" time is over, but with adjusted hours so I can resume going to the gym more regularly.

Anyway, so I am heading home from work, dangerously low on gas and I can't stop because I've left my wallet at home. The last thing I need is to run out of gas and not be able to go to Pilates. I make it home and grab my wallet and workout gear and drive to the gas station where I put 16.004 gallons in my 16-gallon tank. My father would be so ashamed that I let it get that low. And thank goodness my dad knows about cars because he has saved me many a time. Not that I don't know that running out of gas is bad for the car, but you get the idea.

Since I was so motivated to get gas, I have plenty time to hop on the elliptical before class starts. I go for just over 5 minutes, really pushing myself and getting a full quarter mile in that time. Exciting side note: I often used to have to slow down because my heart rate would get to high, but today I push the whole time and never get into a heart rate 'danger zone', and that is super encouraging after being lazy for about a week.

After my elliptical warm-up, I head upstairs and meet Lisa, who I have convinced to join me for Pilates, today. I have been wicked encouraging, telling her she'll have fun and Kiki is great, and to only worry about doing what she thinks she can do. Nadine, you are free of your title as I have now become 'Sam the Liar'. Kiki went to some workshop and came back with incredible motivation to basically make our lives miserable. Poor Lisa thought she was going to have a slow paced Pilates introduction, but no such luck.

Kiki races from one exercise to the next, and I'm not only sweating from using my muscles but from moving so fast. It's bordering on cardio. Every move and pose and exercise hurts (in the good 'you're really doing something' way) and I can't wait for class to be over. Every so often I glance at Lisa, who is graciously smiling through the whole thing even though I'm pretty sure she'll never speak to me again.

At the conclusion of the class, everyone is wiped out, but it feels amazing. It was exactly what I needed to de-stress and relax (ironic, huh?). I say hi to Kiki on my way out and pop in and say hi to Ryann, as well. I also confess my awful diet from the past few weeks because I'm feeling honest. Gotta get right back up on that horse. So I ask her to help set me up with her food tracking app. That way she can yell at me for eating awful things.

After the gym, I head to the hospital to visit, get this, MY NEPHEW! My sister had a baby on December 18th and he is, without a doubt, adorable.

No contest

His name is Chester and he is my favorite baby ever.

Cravings...

I spend the whole day being super psyched about going to the gym, tonight. It's been too long and exercise really has become an addiction. If it wasn't evidenced by doing sit-ups and push-ups when I couldn't sleep last night, it's proven by the fact that I am giddy when I think about working up a sweat. It's like I'm a completely different person, now. But in a good way. It's not like I'm dating Exercise and she's constantly manipulating me into a different person like in the hilarious 'Makin' Changes' episode of 'Happy Endings'. Exercise is making me a healthier and more confident individual.

I get home from work and I'm so excited about Dynamic Core that I leave a full half-hour early so that I can get in some time on the elliptical as well. It's like a glorious homecoming when I arrive. People start clapping and throwing confetti. People hold out their new born children for me to kiss, and several women get a little misty. After an acceptable amount of mingling I head down to the cardio room and hop on an elliptical machine.

I only get about a minute and change into my workout when Rachel shows up and I have to put Ke$ha away so that I can actually be social with Rachel. Ten minutes later, we head up to the studio and wait to fight our way through the masses and claim our usual spot. Kiki recently went to a workshop and came back inspired to kick our butts (so I've heard) so I'm a little scared to see what's in store for us. 

As usual, Kiki does not disappoint and my craving to sweat is apparently a craving that I can fill. Past classes have involved the core in many of the exercises, but I haven't ever felt like my core is too used. Maybe I've been doing everything wrong, which is entirely possible, but tonight my core feels it all the way up to my sternum. And it will not stop. Sit-ups, push-ups, burpees, Pilates, we do everything. I could cry and I may in fact already be crying. I can't really tell because I'm sweating so much. I'm starting to think I should invest in some compression shorts.

I know I'm getting a great workout and I also am still finding myself surprised by the measurable changes happening to my body. I can now get my legs up over my head without throwing myself backwards, even though I still can't touch the floor behind my head. That will come in time. I can't get too far ahead of myself. Side planks are still awful, not only because they're difficult to do, but because I keep getting cramps in my hips. It's not fun to do anything with cramps (ladies...). I'm kind of starting to enjoy squats, believe it or not. And we do plenty of them, tonight. We also do them on our toes and by the end, my calves feel outrageously sore. Like criminally sore. 

The gym is wonderful, everyone. Get on board with it. I will literally go with anyone anytime I am free so if you're nervous for some inexplicable reason, I will help you conquer your fear. Also, take classes. Classes provide great structure and motivation so if you can't seem to keep yourself busy on your own, a class would be great for you. Also, if any gyms are looking to hire a spokesperson, please contact me. As evidenced by this blog, I would be great at it.

Priorities...

Hello to all of you who have been waiting for the first post since my blog revelation last week. It's cray-cray up in my life what with Target and Hiltz and I have a hard time squeezing the gym in, too. Why can't life be easy? Honestly, if some anonymous reader wants to donate money so that I don't have to work while I do this whole gym thing, I will not complain. But my complaining is part of the appeal of the blog, I guess.

Basically what this is teaching me is that I need to make time for things that are important. Obviously it is important to earn money so that I can survive, but this quest for fitness is something that has to take priority, too. Which means that even though I'm really tired from working so much, I need to take the time on my days off to do the gym. I haven't been since last Monday, and that is shameful.

Though Monday is awesome. I go to Zumba with a posse of supporters. Best Friend Rachel and Fit Andrew come, along with Lisa and first-time Zumba-er Liz. Getting Liz to go to Zumba is a difficult task but proves I have harnessed the power of persuasion. Not only do I get her to go, but I get her to stand in the front row with me. Liz is secretly a natural dancer, though she would never admit it. Fun is had by all and this evening proves that exercise can bring people together.

Also, I can't fall asleep last night so what do I do? Sit-ups and push-ups. What is happening to me? I'm becoming one of the people I used to mock (probably out of jealousy)! I literally used to yell at people when I saw them jogging because they were making everyone else feel badly about themselves and now I cheer them on. I love that this is what's happening to me. I never thought I'd even consider starting to be a runner and I've already downloaded and seriously thought about using a couch to 5k app. Exercise is addicting if you stick with it long enough. But that does hinge on finding something that you enjoy doing. If you don't like running, don't run. Find something else in the world of cardio that you do enjoy.

I don't know how on board I am with this analogy, but humor me because I provide you with plenty of humor: To an extent, if I'm not enjoying what I do for work, I will never be happy in a job. I'm not willing to categorically say that I won't be happy if I don't like it because I honestly believe I could overlook a lot of unpleasant things for the sake of financial security. But the basic lesson is I never enjoyed going to the gym until I tried all sorts of classes and found the things I really enjoy. And I haven't even tried everything. If something get's boring I can try something else, as long as I keep trying.

Goodness this feels like I'm being Mr. Rogers. But as cheese ball as it sounds, it's true. Just because you tried one thing and it didn't start your engine doesn't mean you can never enjoy exercise. Give it time and try different things. Tennis counts as exercise, so does swimming, so does ultimate frisbee. Stop complaining that exercise isn't for you. It's not for the lazy version of yourself but isn't it the whole point of exercise to not be lazy? Think about it. 

Repurpose...

It is quite difficult to effectively blog when I have two jobs and practically no time. But please be aware that I am making my best effort and hopefully will get back on top of things. I know I said once before that this wouldn't happen again and it did, so I'm making a promise to try to be better.

Tuesday was dynamic core and I'd love to tell you all about exactly what happened during class and all the outrageous things that we had to do, but alas, I can not remember. The only thing I can remember specifically is that for the first time ever, I looked in the mirror and liked the way I looked. Despite being sweaty and nasty! It was a miracle. I've been to therapy and I've been on pills and nothing has made me feel as good as exercise. 

I remember that the workout was really hard and that I felt a sense of accomplishment at the end. Each class is an accomplishment. I come face to face with something that seems too hard or too daunting but each and every time I finish it. I don't care if you think I sound braggy. This is my blog and I do what I want. I have surprised myself with my determination, when it comes to exercise. When it comes to blogging about it, on the other hand...

I, like every man on the planet, very distinctly remember the first time I shaved. I was in 9th grade and I had gone to Target and purchased shaving cream and shave gel (I was cool enough for gel), locked myself in the downstairs bathroom, and prepared to propel myself into manhood. My whiskers were very fine and barely noticeable because they were so blonde, but it was a very exciting time in my life. It was also a time in my life when I did not understand the concept of "necessity". 

The very next day I was down in the bathroom shaving again. Nothing had grown overnight. This is not an exaggeration at all. NOTHING had grown. But I felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility to shave every day that week. What happened? I got razor burn and my skin was really irritated. I wasn't patient enough to wait until I needed to shave again.

I think that's what I did with this blog, too. I was initially so excited that I felt the need to constantly update all of you devoted readers (and you occasional or first-time readers) because that's what made me feel important. But all I got was blog posts that were watered down and had no substance. 

Along with my promise to try and update regularly, I'm committing to myself to only update if I need to update. If it's an uneventful workout, you will not hear about it. It's fun for me to feel like I have a following, but ultimately I'm doing this for me and I'm not going to feel the need to blog simply because it's what I'm supposed to do. Trust me, I'm sparing you from mindless rambling about nonsensical subjects. Also, nonsensical is a pretty awesome word.

And one final tidbit: I may be doing this for me, but all of your comments and views are a source of encouragement so keep them coming. Most of the time I can force myself to the gym because I know I'm bettering myself, but occasionally I only go for you folks. And share the blog, dammit. I love being recognized out among the common people.