Ever since my circus training on Saturday, two parts of my body have been sore. First are my biceps. Sore to the point where full extension of my arm proved to be painful because my muscles were tight and completely opposed to being used in any way. I almost couldn't shower. The second group of muscles are my obliques. If, perchance, you don't know what obliques are, I've included this amazing image which I got from the internet.
By the way, this is totally me. Look at my amazing progress!
Thanks to my sore obliques I took a rather disturbing interest in flexing them because I could actually feel them and know that I was flexing correctly. It was very weird to enjoy the feeling of soreness that comes after serious muscle usage. But the soreness comes from my muscles getting stronger and that's a really cool thought.
When I go to the gym tonight, there is a mixture of joy and absolute terror because it's a measurement day. I've been steadily working out and therefore have no idea why I should be worried, but I am. Justin is there to greet me as soon as I walk in and tells me to go change quickly so that we can get the measuring done and so that I have time to warm up. Apparently twenty minutes early isn't good enough. He is so mean.
I head back upstairs and we walk down the hallway towards the scale. A walk that simultaneously takes forever and that is over way too quickly. Off come the shoes and I step up on to the scale. Why is weighing one's self one of the most terrifying experiences ever? I imagine I would have an easier time hurling myself out of a jet at 25,000 feet than I would stepping on a scale of my own free will. I have a scale at home that I bought at Target that I have stepped on a total of twice in the year that I've owned it. This weigh in doesn't count, as I consider Justin to be the catalyst of this particular scale experience and therefore I am not acting of my own free will.
Thankfully, I have not put on weight since I was last weighed. Unfortunately, I have not lost any weight, either. '378' stares unforgivingly right back up at me, cackling rudely. Get some manners 378 and leave when you are asked. We still have to measure body fat and diameter of various parts of my body. Goody, more opportunity for disappointment.
After measurements are taken, joy finds its way into my heart and I will tell you why. My body fat has gone down by three percent, my bicep has gone down an inch, and my waist has gone down five inches. So yes, my weight hasn't changed, but what comprises my weight has shifted. Not surprising when I've been hitting the weights more frequently than in recent memory.
For my workout today I do mostly non-equipment exercises. push-ups, squats, abs that aren't quite sit-ups but aren't quite laying on the floor doing nothing. I also do presses and side hovers. For my final exercise of the evening I have to do the squat slams from yesteryear. It's honestly been a long time since I've done these and I am instantly reminded about how much I hate them. If you need a refresher, the squat slams are done with a twenty pound ball that I have to raise over my head and slam down with a squat. Because Justin is SO INCREDIBLY MEAN, he makes me do twenty seconds with ten seconds of rest eight times. I honestly think I might pass out, but I don't. Why can't anything exciting happen to me?
To finish my workout for the day, I swim. I have been getting so much better at swimming lately. I do have to ask how I bring up the intensity in order to make it worthwhile. I have a minute per lap and whatever is left over I get to use as rest time. It's advantageous to finish each lap as quickly as possible in order to get rest time. I fairly consistently do a lap in forty-five seconds, which I think is pretty decent. For me anyways. Will I be beating Michael Phelps at the 2016 Olympics? Probably not.
Now, I may be murdered for what I'm about to do next and if I do end up dead, everyone should know that it was Justin who did it. But every time I tell any woman that I'm doing personal training, the first question they ask is 'Is he hot?' Judge for yourselves, everyone. And he does have a girlfriend.
For the record, Justin picked the picture
I can still hear you repeating what Julia said about the box brownies in your dream: "That's fascinating Sam!" You do a mean Julia Child impersonation.
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