Invasion...

This post is super back dated. But deal with it. I was prepping for a hurricane.

For the first time in my entire life, I go to the gym on a Friday night. I spent most of the day focusing on the fact that I had no plans for the weekend and so I decided I would just suck it up and go. I show up and plan on just doing some swimming. I do have plans to go to a movie later, but for now, I really want to get the exercise on because I missed Wednesday.

Upon my arrival, I'm bummed because there are other people in the pool. I hate when people are in my pool. And I'm more pissed when people are in my lane like this weirdo is today. Reluctantly, I enter the pool and use the middle lane. 

I'm feeling pretty ambitious today, so I decide to try for another half mile in the pool. I don't know what my personal record for swimming distance is, but I'm guessing a half mile is it. I swam across a lake at camp when I was a kid, but they didn't really tell me how far that was. They had safety kayaks to rescue people, if need be, but there was no way I was going to do that. I was a fat kid and I probably would have capsized the kayak had I actually needed to be rescued. So I stuck it out and swam the whole way across. I remember feeling really proud of myself.

Much like I feel proud of my six laps of freestyle that I complete in a very rhythmic manner, swallowing water only twice. As I swap to the kickboard, I glance over at the other lane. This guy has just been doing lap after lap and shows no sign of slowing down. Good for you, dude. But keep it to yourself. You keep flinging water into my face with each stroke and it's really getting annoying. Plus you're in my lane and I already kind of hate you and don't more of a reason to pelt you with a pool noodle.

Halfway through my kickboard laps, worst thing in the world happens. A gaggle of children burst in to the pool room yelling and screaming and then begin leaping in to the pool. Hell to the no. This is my Friday night and I am not letting twenty six-year-olds ruin my swim. They're splashing everywhere and causing choppy waters and I end up choking several times as I do my backstroke laps. I hate children.

After my swim and some relaxing time in the steam room (which is a mandated child-free zone thank goodness) I head upstairs and complain to Carla. I come to find out that once a month on Fridays it's Kid's Night. Whoever came up with this idea should be fired. Carla tells me her son is going trick-or-treating dressed as a ninja turtle so I tell her she should go as April. She likes that idea. Just call me costume planner from now on.